Creating Confidence In Youth Athletes: A Simple How-To Guide

It’s a fun little game we love to play with the youth…

…the best memory was when we spoke this one time in front of 100+ youth athletes and their parents

We asked anyone who “wanted more confidence in any aspect of sport or life” to raise their hands

Every single hand went up. Parents and youth athletes alike.

So we asked, “who can tell me what confidence is?”

Crickets for a few brief moments. Then some answers came flooding in…

…but the answers were more about belief, relaxation, knowing, preparation, effort, and the like

Not one single person could give a direct definition of what “confidence” was without tying it into some other kind of feeling, emotional or somatic experience

So this poised the powerful question, “what is confidence?”

Is it a feeling, a thought, an emotion, an action, a story — everyone wants it, but no one can find it, so what is it we’re actually looking for?

Well, let’s reverse engineer it…

…what makes someone come across as confident?

They’re cool. They’re calm. They’re collected. They “look” like they know what they’re doing from the outside looking in. Why?

Two things:

1. Comfort

2. Competence

This is what we’re truly striving for, as having these 2 things allows us to appear “confident” in the eyes of others — when really all we are is comfortable at what we’re doing because we’re competent at it… we’ve done the reps

“I want to be more confident in pressure situations late in a game”…

…good! Go ask for the ball in those moments and detach from the outcome of what happens and the story you tell yourself about yourself whether you “succeed” or not.

Guess what happens at first? It feels REALLY uncomfortable. Guess what happens the 10th time? Still uncomfortable, but better. Guess what happens the 50th time? It feels normal

Why? You’re now more comfortable here and know you’re the type of player who steps up in these situations

Same for more confidence in exams or social situations. Get uncomfortable, build the competence inside that environment

The Truth is that confidence is all a story — a story we tell ourselves about ourselves and who we are in specific moments or environments

You change that story with exposure and time

DO seek our the cultivation of comfort and competence.

STOP searching for “confidence” as you’ll never find it and waste time focusing on the wrong things that don’t lead you there

That is how confidence will be created and cultivated for youth athletes faster than ever before